Welcome to my world~

欢迎光临寒舍~ 哈哈……很有古代的feel吧?

Friday 31 July 2009

as usual, none fulfilled (quite)

  1. slept at 2.45 am, way past the scheduled 10.pm *sigh*
  2. woke up at near 10am (woke up several times before that, but unwilling to get out of bed) *sigh*
  3. reading still yet to be completed. I didn't touch my corrections. *sigh*
  4. no news from ANU. *sigh* Bristol e-mailed me though.
  5. expectedly, JPA didn't call or e-mail me. *sigh*
  6. went to YouTube this morning, opened a few videos but just manage to watch just now. not too interesting or hilarious. *sigh*
  7. no big discoveries *sigh*
  8. I have no idea what is classified as "love God more" *sigh*

nothing more but sigh.

Tonight I must force myself to get away from the computer. Plan to wake up real early tomorrow and change my bedroom layout. Have to miss out training. Need to reschedule my body alarm. Need to produce those pieces to be sent to newspapers.

Went through other people's blog again. Thought that I can at least get some recommendations from Allen. Turns out that his "good song" was DBSK's "Why did I fall in love with you?" from this very blog of mine. >.<

Rotting at home, in front of the laptop. =.=lll

Hope that the good news will come soon and that I at least have a direction to run to. =)

Pray hard that everything will turn out well, no matter it's for me, my family, my friends or other people that I care for.

Have a nice day~

Thursday 30 July 2009

a simple, short wishlist

  1. sleep before 9.30pm (err... impossible ah? then 10pm bah.. erm.. make it 10.30 pm lar...)tonight.
  2. jog for 30 min tomorrow morning with doggy
  3. finish my reading and corrections before tomorrow afternoon
  4. ANU reply me asap
  5. JPA reply me asap
  6. find more nice videos on YouTube (DBSK better)
  7. good news about THAT case
  8. learn to love God more

Wednesday 29 July 2009

两个角度看世界之Cassiopeia

这应该是我截至目前为止最努力写的一篇部落格了。为了确保真实性,以及不被人K,我还昨天还特地上网搜寻相关资料叻……

原本佳明就有叫我写类似的文章,不过那时没啥心情兼头绪/灵感。前几天在YouTube看到了某个外国女生声明她再也不喜欢东方神起了,所以不会再上载他们的片段了。原本我是没什么留意这段留言,不过那个节目总共10集,她就说了不下10次同样的话语,还说已经把原因写在她的新部落格了。我啊,就很好奇啊,就去看了……http://kanahagino.wordpress.com/2009/07/24/dbsk/
结果,看了顿时觉得:乖乖,不得了了!好还当初没有拉德基去加入仙后俱乐部。

好了,我知道你们看得的是一头的雾水,请大家跟我一起从头看待这件事情。

话说,我最近迷上东方神起这个组合。好几年前,我对他们的《Rising Sun》相当有印象,觉得韩国不愧是专门出产动感偶像团体的国家啊……不过,那时候也仅此而已。我和德基好像都还在H.O.T的时代,后来我是比较喜欢Kang Ta啦,他比较喜欢Moon Hee Jun (是吗?我也不是很确定。若不是,记得留言澄清吧~)开始注意这个组合是有一天我为了找鞠躬的图片也去Google Images,发现到一张剑道的黑白照,非常对我的胃口。它的文字则彻底挑动我的好奇心:“……最著名的就是那个18鞠躬……”好咯,就去按来看啊……原来是个粉丝写关于允浩的事……当下我就爱上他了!哈哈……应该说很佩服他才对。他对生活的执着,他对工作的认真,让我很感动。于是,我就开始去YouTube看他的影片,慢慢地,觉得这个团体挺可爱的。他们的感情很好,因为曾经在人生地不熟的状况下被“丢”去日本生活两年,就因为经纪公司很看重这个市场。团员们甚至透露,那时年纪最小的昌珉(话说,这个oppa比我大1年1天,咦,不对,应该是1年2天,因为1988年2月有29号)才16、7岁,想家到用鞋子当电话,喃喃自语,模拟跟外星人聊天,聊的都是他想家的事……某天欣喜发现Eileen曾经给我他们的歌,也就是到现在我都还是很爱的《One》。那时我还很意外我竟然听得出他们的歌声!(韩国歌我最熟的真的只有Kang Ta。能认出没有歌名的歌,开始小小佩服自己的耳朵……哈哈……)后来才懂他们有个粉丝俱乐部,但是我还是不明白为什么要取名仙后?

在韩国歌手都有属于自己的歌迷俱乐部,是很正式的,属于歌手所在公司,但是由歌迷自己管理,加入俱乐部是需要交会费的,但是也可以参加很多与那个歌手有关的活动,定期也会收到跟那个歌手有关的小礼物。一般歌手的歌迷俱乐部叫什么名字那么那个俱乐部的歌迷也会被冠以那个名字。

神起的歌迷俱乐部名字就是Cassiopeia,所以加入这个俱乐部的神起的歌迷同时也就有了共有的名字叫Cassiopeia,中文翻译过来就叫做仙后座。

仙后座是在秋冬时,北半球可以看见北方天空上最美丽的星座,五颗很漂亮的星。这五颗星或以W排列或以M排列,每一颗星就代表神起的一个人,天空中的整个仙后座就代表神起永远在一起并在天上照耀着所有的人,这就是神起歌迷名字的解释Cassiopeia。


这个名字是SM公司在歌迷写的许多提议中商量后选出的,至于神起有没有参与定名我就不知道了,不过这也算是歌迷自己起的名字吧。

神起的罗马拼音是Tong Vfang Xien Qi ,缩写是TVXQ(也有说是TVFXQ),这5个字母在键盘上呈“W"排列,就像天上的仙后座一样,仙后座有5颗亮星和数亿万他星星,5颗亮星代表5只,代表五只永远在一起!  

另外,韩国的组合都会有他们自己的颜色,而东方神起的颜色是红色。因此仙后们会在应援的时候带上红色的气球或者是红色的荧光棒或者是任何红色的应援物品。所以他也就会有“红色的海洋”一说。

这个想法来源于最小.最强~~~昌珉~~
不管过几万年,天上的仙后座,还是5颗星..
即使仙后座不在了,仙后们也会永远存在!
汇聚了神起和仙后们的爱。


资料来源:http://wenda.tianya.cn/wenda/thread?tid=5a3b96bdf088db68

有一点明白了,可是做人要活到老学到老,是不是?怎么可以满足于这么点资料呢?呵呵……于是,我又去搜寻这个星座的资料。在这之前,我连仙后座=cassiopeia都不懂呢……没办法,小学的科学,我只记得南方十字座(因为图画好记,又跟某个团体【东方列车】有一点点像)、北斗七星座和下弦月(郑秀文还是梅艳芳不是有首歌《上弦月》吗?)去维基百科查相关资料是对的选择,因为又学到新的东西了。


仙后座,北天星座,代表著埃塞俄比亞皇后卡西歐佩亞(Cassiopeia)。它是國際天文學聯合會88個現代星座之一,也是古希臘天文學家托勒密列出的48個星座其中的一個。

仙后座是一個易認的星座,其五顆最亮星組成一個非常獨特的W形。由於它與北天極距離並不遠,在高緯度地區這星座整晚都不會落下,而且跟北斗七星相對,是拱極星座也是指極星座之一。

星座神话


希腊神话中,安德羅墨达(Andromeda)是埃塞俄比亚国王克甫斯(Cepheus)和王后卡西奧佩婭(Cassiopeia)的女儿,其母因不斷炫耀自己的美麗而得罪了海神波塞冬之妻安菲特里忒,安菲特里忒要波塞冬替她報仇,波塞冬遂派鲸鱼座蹂躪依索匹亞,克甫斯大駭,請求神諭,神諭揭示解救的唯一方法是獻上安德羅墨达。她被她的父母用铁索锁在鲸鱼座所代表的海怪经过路上的一块巨石上,后来英雄珀耳修斯剛巧瞥見慘劇,於是立時拿出蛇髮魔女美杜莎之人頭,將鲸鱼座石化,珀耳修斯杀死海怪,救出了她。為懲罰卡西奧佩婭,她要永遠繞著北極圈轉。

资料来源:http://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E4%BB%99%E5%90%8E%E5%BA%A7


Ethopia?真的没有像过这个星座跟这个国家有关诶~

好了,既然有了初步的概念了,就往“仙后”这个词去查,好奇怎么会有人自豪是一分子,而有人却称之为脑残?超级两极化诶~

终于来到重点了……哈哈……谢谢各位的耐心,看了这么多。长了新知识,不必谢我!哈哈……

之前就有耳闻韩国粉丝是何等的疯狂,也看过反粉丝有多么地恐怖,可是,我不知道原来事情有这么严重。在观看韩国的电视节目时,也明显发现东方神起近年来参加的时候,主持人和别的艺人总得小心翼翼,还互相呛声(提醒?):“You are not afraid of the netizen?” 我一直都以为都是单纯地开玩笑,因为很可爱的主持人会强调某些部分的录制并不是scripted(言下之意就是很多部分/桥段是事先设计好的)。

据说,韩国仙后曾经为了“维护”东方的名气而集体假意购买千多张另一个(还是一组?我不清楚,查不到相关资料)艺人的演唱会的贵宾门票,最后却不付钱,当然也没有出席。因此,该单位损失几百万韩币。后来,也听说别组艺人的粉丝进行报复,假意大量购买东方的演唱会门票。唉……冤冤相报何时了?这些艺人以后碰面总会、难免尴尬吧?不然就是每次见面都得道歉?

然后啊,之前不是爆发昌珉殴打孕妇的事件?先不讨论他是否真的动粗,也不研究那个女粉丝是不是真的怀孕(网上太多个版本了http://bbs.e21edu.com/thread-10343-1-1.html),但是中国仙后跑去韩国网站代表“全体中国人”道歉的举动的的确确引发了中国内地的网上“圣战”。ps:我史上第一次懂有“爆吧”这个现代词诶……暴动、暴乱都听过,爆吧?!嗯……很……新鲜……网民分为两派,一边是普通的人们,捍卫着中国人的尊严,另一边是仙后,捍卫东方神起。听说闹得挺大、挺严重的,百度甚至还破天荒限制进网的人数。骂得是很难听,看得是我直叹气。我真的不同意咒人去死或威胁会杀人这种事儿啦……还是有个网民说得中立又好:会发生不愉快的事,双方都得负责任。http://ent.shangdu.com/zhuanti/dongfanshenqi/index.html

说什么以后再也不要当中国人了、觉得没有必要再爱国了……我觉得是身在福中不知福。如果在这儿也说这种话,那三个英文字母马上就出现了吧?呵呵……至于那个辱骂周总理的女生,我没有读中国历史(我们的国民中学只有读Ancient China厚?),所以我不清楚他的背景,但是这篇文章让我看了是连连鼓掌啊!很机智的领导人哦~http://blog.ce.cn/html/25/115025-154810.html

2、“在你们中国,明明是人走的路为什么却要叫"马路"呢?”周总理不假思索地答道:“我们走的是马克思主义道路,简称马路。”
这位记者的用意是把中国人比作牛马,和牲口走一样的路。如果你真的从“马路”这种叫法的来源去回答他,即使正确也是没有什么意义的。周总理把“马路”的“马”解释成马克思主义,恐怕是这位记者始料不及的。

3、美国代表团访华时,曾有一名官员当着周总理的面说:“中国人很喜欢低着头走路,而我们美国人却总是抬着头走路。”此语一出,话惊四座。周总理不慌不忙,脸带微笑地说:“这并不奇怪。因为我们中国人喜欢走上坡路,而你们美国人喜欢走下坡路。” 美国官员的话里显然包含着对中国人的极大侮辱。在场的中国工作人员都十分气愤,但囿于外交场合难以强烈斥责对方的无礼。如果忍气吞声,听任对方的羞辱,那么国威何在?周总理的回答让美国人领教了什么叫做柔中带刚,最终尴尬、窘迫的是美国人自己。

4、一位美国记者在采访周总理的过程中,无意中看到总理桌子上有一支美国产的派克钢笔。那记者便以带有几分讥讽的口吻问道:“请问总理阁下,你们堂堂的中国人,为什么还要用我们美国产的钢笔呢?”周总理听后,风趣地说:“谈起这支钢笔,说来话长,这是一位朝鲜朋友的抗美战利品,作为礼物赠送给我的。我无功不受禄,就拒收。朝鲜朋友说,留下做个纪念吧。我觉得有意义,就留下了这支贵国的钢笔。”美国记者一听,顿时哑口无言。什么叫自搬石头砸自己的脚?这就是一个典型事例。这位记者的本意是想挖苦周总理:你们中国人怎么连好一点的钢笔都不能生产,还要从我们美国进口。结果周总理说这是朝鲜战场的战利品,反而使这位记者丢尽颜面。也是,想和周总理较劲,门都没有。

5、一个西方记者说:“请问,中国人民银行有多少资金?”周恩来委婉地说:“中国人民银行的货币资金嘛?有18元8角8分。”当他看到众人不解的样子,又解释说:“中国人民银行发行的面额为10元、5元、2元、l元、5角、2角、l角、5分、2分、1分的10种主辅人民币,合计为18元8角8分……”
周总理举行记者招待会,介绍我国建设成就。这位记者提出这样的问题,有两种可能性,一个是嘲笑中国穷,实力差,国库空虚;一个是想刺探中国的
经济
情报。周总理在高级外交场合,同样显示出机智过人的幽默风度,让人折服。

很有趣吧?呵呵……我觉得周总理讲话的艺术修得的是相当的好!

那些很努力为东方神起累积知名度的(韩国)仙后,我也只能说:败给你们了!若真的要支持他们,就去买他们的唱片(唱片数字有被记录哦)或去看他们演的戏剧(大家会看收视率)、电影(票房也会在年尾报告的)吖……最实际的方式嘛……买食物送去各大报馆……也许会适得其反诶……听说会让人误会演技不够好……我不想这样啊……抹杀他们付出的努力和心血……下次要跟别的剧组合作都会让人再三考虑吧?

还有,据说有仙后曾经不喜欢Hwang Bo这个艺人,就因为允浩和有天在节目同时追她,还有允浩很像也在别的节目说喜欢她这种女生。可是我觉得谈恋爱的是允浩,如果跟她在一起会让他开心,为什么不祝福呢?我个人就蛮喜欢她的直爽,他们看起来就挺相配的啊……允浩+在中配对只是fan fiction,他们真的想跟女生好好谈恋爱啦……

至于那个红色的海洋,我个人对颜色没有意见,不过……尖叫声很常会干扰到我们这些看视频的观众,因为要一直调音量,而且常常听不到艺人的歌声……我朋友还说,迟早会被吓出心脏病诶~嘎嘎……

希望粉丝们在表达爱意时,别把一些人吓走,或让他们改变主意,开始反东方神起。

说了这么多,


我还是很喜欢东方神起

他们的慢歌会触动我心中的那根弦;他们的快歌会让我忍不住舞动身体;他们的短剧让我狂笑不已;他们的敬业让我感动;他们的执着成为我努力追求梦想的榜样。他们的礼貌在韩国演艺圈是出了名的。

我喜欢允浩的样子和认真;我喜欢在中的幽默和认真;我喜欢有天的深情和认真;我喜欢俊秀的歌声和认真;我喜欢昌珉的努力和认真。

有人批评,他们不去制止仙后的疯狂行为或不承认有女朋友的事实,我不太在乎。是因为我没有太入迷还是因为我尊重他们的隐私权?也许是因为我们天天看报纸,习惯了东方明星们采取对感情回避的态度。而他们跟粉丝说只可以看他们或“责问”歌迷怎么会不见一段时间,让他们担心了之类的话,也被说是太自大以及给仙后不切实际的幻想空间。我真的觉的是个人意见咯……我还是会支持别的艺人的好音乐啊!又不是支持别人就会让他们垮了……他们不曾对我说过那些话,我还是会幻想啊!(羞)哈哈……

ps:很开心允浩是基督徒,因为在韩国演艺圈,真的很少听到是基督徒的艺人。而且,我觉得他最了不起的事就是原谅那个在他饮料里添加super glue的女生。虽然他给的理由跟宗教没有关系,可是它能成为我们彼此提醒要原谅别人过失的一个例子。

希望东方神起在未来能出产更好的作品,也能逐渐成熟,同时能享受生活、放胆说话。=)

ps: Ok, Deb, you can start your comments.

Monday 27 July 2009

a new week

It's Monday again!! No Monday blues though.. The only good thing about not-working-and-still-waiting-to-study days. =)

Called JPA again to check on applications and stuffs. No news yet as usual. But things sound positive and I'm hoping for the best.

Had IELTS class in heavy rain. Thank God the weather was very good when class was dismissed. =)

Hooked again on YouTube now. I really think I'll finish all of DBSK's video soon. XD

Read about Yasmin Ahmad's news. Kinda shocked to find out that she was transgendered. I'm normally not for this idea, but since I don't know this until today, I guess it actually helps me to focus on her talent in directing and perhaps, script writing. Even more shocked to know that her first husband was an Indian and her current husband is a Chinese. The newspaper was right in saying : 她从头到尾都忠于自己。

Then I browsed through the net and ended up reading about Siti Nurhaliza. In Wikipedia, it says that she was formally related to Anuar Zain. Erm, okay... He wasn't really the nice-looking guy, but my first thought was he definitely suits Siti more. Their voices were both melodious. It's kind of pity (?) Siti chose her current husband. I always thought the singer of 《Bukan Cinta Biasa》will marry someone from the entertainment industry too. And that rumours that both were engaged in other relationships previously give the image that they were... 脚踏两条船?I'm not sure. It's their choice, anyway.

Went to Facebook to accept Alvin's friend request. And yes, 1 thing confirmed. He should really consider to go and take up advertisements. =) Something noticed: he and his girlfriend actually wear 情侣装 for almost every occasion!! Sweet ne~

Ending this post with very strong music waves floating from my neighbour's house. Their woofer system's good. That's why I unexpectedly move my body to the music (normally I'm not that happy with these loud music on the whole day.. or was it 3 days in a row?)

ps: The more I watch, the more I'm surprised. Those dances they do in Korea and kept the world, or Asia, to be specific, screaming were actually already done by 包家三兄弟:伟铭、小松、小柏 a long time ago. They are now in their 40s and still being able to do it is something "idols" nowadays should learn.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vTLlFpRiTgc vs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H705UlM-TXg + http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5iQiK3zSZSk + http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hw7gJxntqrM&feature=related
Since when there's this 40's DBSK? Quite amazing though to see them doing breaking and stuffs at this age.

Sunday 26 July 2009

很久没有这样了

话说,我昨晚跟Charles聊太迟去,以至快十二点才开始看YouTube,结果因为太好看,不断重播小部分,凌晨三点半才睡,今天想说即使错过早场崇拜,晚场的应该是没问题。只是想不到会睡到醉去……睡到自然醒是一件很过瘾的事,不过,相对的,头脑很慢才能恢复正常操作。我妈确定我睡醒后就宣布下午一点吃午餐。我就纳闷了,这么现在才十一点,我随便喝两口热茶也不用拖到一点才吃吧?直接十二点吃午饭,还可以省早餐叻……我妈反问:“刚睡醒,身体器官机能都还没有开始运作,怎么吃?”头脑还在处于蒙渣渣的我,也不多说,默默地折棉被。不经意抬头一看,赫!!十二点了?!我折棉被用了一个小时?!揉揉眼睛,甩一甩头,才发现,刚才不是十一点,是十一点五十五分…… =.=lll

刚才到处晃晃,忽然发现德基的最新部落竟然有RIP的字眼出现,再往右边一点看看,吓!!Yasmin Ahmad?!不会吧?紧急去看http://bentuckee.blogspot.com/2009/07/rip-yasmin-ahmad.html,再去Google相关新闻。不愿相信,真的是她……才51岁啊……才女呢~她的电影,我都有耳闻,甚至预告片都看了,就是没有一次看过完整的戏。当年的《Rabun》和《Sepet》我都擦肩而过。后来的《Mukhsin》和《Muallaf》没有印象诗巫有播映。最近的《Talentime》我期待很久了,在默默希望诗巫的戏院会播放,结果,等到的却是她逝世的新闻……去查了查她的biography,才发现,原来她的作品离我们这么近……Petronas每一年的广告,均是她当导演的……很难得有马来人导演愿意指导不分种族、宗教的戏……感动……惋惜……您安息吧!

希望今晚别下雨,我想去晚场崇拜。

希望明天一切顺利,能听到好消息。

希望未来阳光普照,大家前程似锦。

希望我的心能重回阿爸父的怀里。

Saturday 25 July 2009

Trip advices and sharing

Well, the other day I happened to cross by Yeo Ming's blog. Her piece on "Home" made me recalled a lot of sweet memories. She chose London over Sibu because obviously London, one of the busiest city in the world, will never bore you. She wrote a long list of shopping outlets. I really missed London and Europe.

Jed, I know you'll be reading this. Anyway, I guess Benny will tell you about this if you happen to miss this. Hopefully you can go and try out with Alvin this winter.

Part 1: London
The shopping centre which I remember really well is Marks & Spencer. Basically, it's just opposite my aunt's house, so we get to pick whatever there: fresh fruits and wines and even jeans and thermal wear. Ps: I like hunting around on Boxing Day. Their Christmas pudding’s delicious. I don’t mind if you’ll buy some for me.
Mum and I also went to British Homestore and John Lewis. Have lunch there. Even a cake will be real nice. I remembered clearly that no one dares to order the workers there except 1 race. I'm afraid I can't reveal this since I might get bombed. In America, there's a law to protect them from racism.

Oxford Street's truly a nice place for shopping, especially on Boxing Day, where everything (almost) is half price. My Clark shoes bought back in 2004 is still following me around, although there's a small crack on the bottom part. Go and do a survey a few days beforehand. Wake up early on 26th, have a decent breakfast, pack yourself with a bottle of water and some snacks, then off you go! Go hunt whole day for best bargains! Trust me, you won't regret doing this.

While surveying, drop by Miss Selfridges and see if they still offer those BIG sandwiches. That time me, mum and Aunty Selina (if I'm not wrong) shared 1 HUGE beef sandwich. The prize maybe a little too nice, but the taste's real good. Take a photo and post up on your currently-should-be-under-construction blog.

I'm sure you have heard about Harrod's. Go and take a look at what you call REAL EXPENSIVE shopping centre. Worth it. Remember to wear neat clothes. Slippers and backpacks are forbidden. The price there is called ridiculous by normal people like us, acceptable by richer kids, and of course, if your grandfather owns Hilton, then you will won't even bother to take a look at the price.

As Alvin already got the goodie bag from our briefing today with Kuching British Council's representative, I'll like to share some of my experience.

One thing you should try is to buy a day trip. Hop on a Double Decker at 7am (or was it 8?), hop down at whichever destination you think is attractive. After you are satisfied with all the photo takings, hop on another Double Decker (I wonder does this still exist? 'Cause I remember they change the double storey to two buses joint in the middle. Heard that since it's too long, lots of accidents happen. Not sure though.) If you are not afraid of the cold weather, sit on the 2nd floor for the whole journey (of course, get down when it's raining, dear). The view's magnificent.

I'd recommend British Museum (remember my blue cat bookmark?), Science Museum (I watched a 3D movie there. I think I bought you guys key chains, didn't I?), Planetarium (by the way, Madame Tussaud's just next door), Victoria and Albert Museum.Another must is having a walk near Tower of London and Tower Bridge (Of course, if you have time, buy a ticket and start visiting). London Eye's another tourist attraction, so if you want to have a ride, you must go real early. Don't forget to take photos near the Big Ben.Then, time for changing of the guard. Only once every day, make sure you don't miss it. Take lots of photo at Buckingham palace before you set off for Kensington Palace. I bought my crown keychain there. The nearby parks are Kensington Gardens and Hyde parks. In autumn, you are likely to see squirrels running around. You might even see geese and swans. The other reason I like this place is because Princess Diana once lived here. =)

As for food, I think everything’s nice. I especially like their Kebab and Middle East food. Chinatown will be nice if you must have Chinese food. Or else, I think food back here is Sibu is more “Chinese” in a way. The Hong Kong Dim Sum is quite expensive. Dynasty (or anything that sounds similar) near Paddington will be around £94 for four people. I’d say it’s too much for students. I also recommend a Mexican restaurant near Leicester Square (Chinatown), but forgive me for forgetting the name. It’s nearly 5 years ago, and I’m known for not having a terrific memory. However, I do remember that the servings over there are really big. You should not starve. I’m not sure if Pizza Hut there still offers this, but their eat-till-you-drop with £5.99 is really worth it. Endless refills of soft drinks. =)

Part 2: Outskirts
I shall not touch on Bristol, since that’s your speciality. Anyway, I had only been to Oxford and Cambridge. I liked the bridge there a lot, especially the 柳叶。 “悄悄的我走了,正如我悄悄地来;我挥一挥衣袖,不带走一片云彩”was written by 徐志摩in《再别康桥》. Experience it yourself.

Part 3: Europe
I had only been to Paris, so only can share this place with you. Must go? Eiffel Tower, Louvre, the Victory Gate, and… Disneyland!!! Haha… You can take Eurostar and pass through the Channel Tunnel. Since you guys are strong, I’m sure you won’t have problems with the change in atmosphere pressure not car sick. Erm… If you pay more, of course you get better service. If not, the economy class should also do. =) Real world survival words: You get what you pay for. Don’t expect more. In Paris, look for Bed and Breakfast. Don’t need too costly lodgings. Normal ones will do. Okay, 3 stars is considered to be above average.
Take a stroll down Champs Elysees. Touch on of the four “legs” of the Eiffel Tower before boarding the lift to go up. Mum says it brings good luck. Last time I only managed to arrive 12th or 24th floor where there was a strong fence that ensures us not being blown away by the wind. Before leaving, you must, must take a photo with Eiffel tower at night. The lights are splendid.

Guys may want to see the Moulin Rouge? Hehe… Prepare yourselves before entering. If I’m not wrong, there’s a LV office near Victory Gate. The whole building looks like a LV luggage. You can only buy 3 items with your passport shown. This is to avoid people buying too many and re-sell or imitate. I didn’t get to explore Louvre last time, but I did take a photo in front of the Glass Pyramid. If you do go in, please share what’s in it.

Similar to London, you can take a day trip. I stopped at Napoleon’s tomb (forgot the place’s name), Notre Dame and a square with lots of birds (forgot the name too) for photos only. There are lots of alleys and you will start to admire the Frenchs’ parking skill. They can squeeze into any small place and park their cars perfectly, even if it’s up the hill! Don’t attempt crossing the roads there. 7 lanes with no white lines to indicate clearly. If you are not rushing around, you might even enjoying shopping there, no matter it’s those small smalls in the alleys or those hypermarkets.

As for Disneyland, I guarantee you’ll like it. But you have to book in advance for both accommodation and day-trip package. Wish you good luck and don’t get stuck in the ice storm like me last time. Umbrella will be pretty useful in rainy days, but if you can get yourself a wind proof or something like that, it’ll be more convenient (although not that good looking for photos). You can get a clearer idea by watching all 12 parts of this video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_B5h-BSzqI 【DBSK Bonjour Paris】
PS: Learn basic French before you go to France. They don’t bother much listening to English orders. Or even better, get Moi Yang to be the tour guide.

If I get to choose, I’ll probably visit Liverpool, Cardiff, Edinburgh, Land’s End, Sheffield, Manchester, Vatican City, Rome, Spain, Czech Republic, Iceland, and Ireland. As for London itself, I wanted very much to take a ride in the London Eye. Yeo Kiong should be a pretty good tour guide for it.

Since all my photos were film developed, I can't post those all photos without a scanner. Not sure if I had shown you before. The places I got were mostly sponsored by my aunt (very very grateful to Aunty Siu Ping and God ^^), so probably it's a little bit out of your budget. Anyway, just check everything online. My cousin says students can get cheaper fare.

Assistant invigilator

This was supposed to be posted up yesterday, but I got hooked up in YouTube again, so.. yeah.. typing it now while waiting for videos on YT and lunch.

It was a special, and perhaps once-in-a-lifetime experience. The principle of Nanyang called me to help as an assistant invigilator for Thursday's IELTS conducted by the British Council at Tanahmas Hotel. His daughter wasn't free, so I got this rare chance of earning RM75. It's actually quite a lot since I only need to work for around 4 hours. The job itself wasn't too difficult. Just that exams under BC seems to be more "luxurious" (?) than IDP's. This batch of 7 candidates were provided drinks and all the stationery. I remember last time my IDP was everything prepared by yourself and it's at Nanyang. I saw someone which I really think is the once very famous person is Sibu. Can anyone remember, around 10 years ago, there's this student with the surname Wong who 1st broke Sibu's record of obtaining 12A1 in SPM? That time it's like every parents will tell their children to study as hard and children were busy putting up the newspaper cut on the wall as a source of motivation.

Anyway, the test itself was as usual, a very pressured one. The questions were never easy. I didn't pay much attention to the General Module, but the Academic Module never fail to shock me. =) Things you never thought can be a question is the question. The air-conditioning system is a centralised one, so we were all trembling, or was it only Mr Adrian (invigilator) and me shivering? I actually wore 3 layers of clothes! This is Sibu! A place without winter! And yet I still need to wear so many layers. The best part was, the candidates weren't too cold. I noticed a girl who was back from Queensland actually just wore a mini skirt and face no problem at all.

After 2 hours and 45 minutes of non-stop exam, finally it's all over. I helped once again to tidy up and my reward? No English tea, no cakes, no fried mee, just 5 bottles of plain water. I brought 1 myself and end up bringing 7 back. LOL...

All in all, I liked it very much. The invigilator is a very nice man. Met him again just now during the British Council pre-departure briefing.

Thank God for giving me a chance experiencing this.

Friday 24 July 2009

a share copied from Recom.org

Well then, given the fact that I'm really tired these few days, I shall post this up as I think it's really a nice piece. I'm not sure if this's going to ease my feel though. I'm kinda numb after months of trekking money (with no avail *sigh*)

Glassylicious in her piece "Obligatory Pep Talk and General Advice with regards to Scholarship Rejections" states a few inspiring (?) sentences, but I liked this most:

A misfortune today may well be a blessing in disguise for tomorrow. When a door closes in your face, it means that somewhere out there, another has opened. So you can either wail and bang the closed door with your fists until they bleed, or you can start looking for that other open door. Don't give up, and keep telling yourself that there's a better opportunity waiting for you elsewhere.

Anyway, this lady (I guess it's a girl due to the nick chosen), got her luck to get into reading law in UK after A-levels. I do envy her.

And this person, luminodreamer89, who also got admitted into UK top university Imperial, stated this:

What you get when you didn't get what you want is experience. The most valuable thing in life is experience. Results bring you this far. But experience will accompany you lifelong.

*sigh* Now that I can only wait for miracle to happen, the chances of me going to UK is basically 0. But then, when I think of it carefully, maybe God wishes me to go to the Southern hemisphere for some reasons. Even if I don't get to read law in the end (but Alvin said that God won't leave some impression that long in one's heart, so He'll open up a door for me at the end of the day), I guess it's because God says I can serve the people in another more efficient way.

I'll write more later in the evening, since I'll be free after class. Tata~


the below picture is just for background.


Tuesday 21 July 2009

loving and caring friends

Finally get to meet all three Jed, Benny and Alvin in 1 meeting. =) I haven't really went out with Jed for like two years. I only remember seeing him once in lower Six, twice during upper Form 6 when he was doing A-levels (all three occasion where he came to school). Met Benny and Alvin just earlier this year during Chinese New Year visiting.

I was kind of worried this morning since I had an upset tummy. Steamboat isn't my first choice when coming to unwell stomach, but then I really wanted to share this nice place with them. I had promised Jed we'll go for this steamboat around 3 or 4 months ago. Luckily, everything became better by afternoon time.

I was late again this time (I really need to get rid of this bad habit), but at least this time, I have a good reason. I called a YB to ask for some help. But then, of course I didn't manage to get in touch with him. His secretary was real nice though. And I was surprised when he spoke Foochow to his colleague. I mean, it's rare to hear people speaking Foochow in KL. Normally we hear Cantonese, don't we? I must say that I had called both parties' (yeah, the most renowned governing and opposition) YB, and I must give a big thumb-up to them. No matter it's the YBs themselves or their assistant, they had been polite and patient to our questions. Even if things didn't go the way I wished, I still thank them for being willing to help me.


Well then, back to our gathering. We had a real decent meal. These pictures shall show you how full we got.
咱们很帅的Alvin哥哥(耶!终于找到月份比我大的人了~)在panggang食物。Benny在右边协助。Jed也有帮助哦……在没拍到的左边。



左边那位适合拍广告,右边那个适合演戏。


有没有看过焦成这样的?没有是不是?!所以我就觉得我们很厉害!哈哈……


中间很美味的食物,旁边很黑的烧焦盘……事情证明,煮东西比烤东西容易很多……也比较安全……

被我们烧掉的第二个盘……


赫!你没有看错,他真的会煮食物!(而身为女生的我竟然输他……【汗】)


咱们两大帅哥在认真研究照片 ing……


今晚的虫特别多。还没喝5口就给虫虫掉进去游泳了……=.= 咦?元杰,你不是说帮我喝掉它吗?做人不能浪费资源,又不可以太小姐嘛……好兄弟是拿来做莫滴?要两肋插刀,在所不惜。怎么可以为了区区的口水停止叻?


这个虫虫跳舞三部曲也很可爱。是我们乘A和J去散步时,发现到的可爱东西。我真的拍到它站立诶!可惜没拍到它倒立……
其他的照片就得等德基post上他的blog咯……迟些我会link的……话说,我们竟然能够烧掉一个锅,两个盘,再把八边手都被油溅到,相当了不起的纪录。
Link from Benny's blog at

The three boys were saying they can't have more, and yet, after 10 minutes, they starting gulfing down drinks and ice-creams. And I feel good, 'cause I'm not the one to eat the most~ yay! haha... However, we still need to get a walk round EverWin and the bus terminal to make ourselves feel better.

To end this part, share 2 经典名句:
1)A: 你们都不了解他,只有我懂他的心。
B: Love is blind。
2)我不敢把手放下,因为我怕我的肚子会掉下来。

A few words (okay, "paragraphs of") for you guys:

overall:
Thank you for caring. For the time being, it's my mum who belanja you guys. I'll go to the bank later and withdraw some to pay her. Not only I want to thank you for being caring, but I am the only one that had really started working. So, yeah..
(ps: Tin Yee, you had been helping me out a lot too, remind me to treat you next time. McFurry? For your information, no more Haagen-Diaz in Sibu *sob* I haven't try one.)

To Jed:
Thank you for all those time you stood by me. You really helped me a lot. A big thanks and hug to your mum who cared for me so much, since young. I must say, she's too much better than my Hong Kong aunty (yeah, the one you saw before in my house that scared (!) you) No matter what happens in future, you will always be my special friend.
(ps: Are you still angry about the lettuce? Sorry *sob sob sob*)

To Benny:
I never expected you will remember me in your prayers, so it really touched my heart to know you still remember this old friend of yours in Sibu. Like Tin Yee, you also helped me a lot in giving advice. I remember the times of exam when we were always place together. STPM seems a bit incomplete without seeing you nearby me =) And also when both of us were into H.O.T. I still like Kang-ta more ;P Now that I'm so into DBSK, it's nice to know you also liked them.

To Alvin:
Do you realise that out of you three, I knew you for the longest time? That's 13 years (another 4 months) You were always somewhere nearby me too every exam. You were controlling 1B when I was in 1A. You sat somewhere nearby me too in Primary 5. Sorry I forgot about that because I remembered after 2 years of different classes in secondary school, we become less close in the sense that we didn't talk as much. For someone who didn't have the habit of reading blogs, I was surprised that you know about my situation. And the ending prayer in Benny's car really touched me. A paragraph just for me. I did manage to hold my tears back this time. Recent crying make my eyes sore.
(ps: don't try this at home.)

I thought that post SPM life will be more or less without you guys (since Mdm Ling Ming Ming once say that after years, only STPM friends will continue to stay in contact). So when you guys actually cared about my dilemma now, I am truly grateful that God send me so many angels. Friends are angels without wings, now I do believe.
Wishing you guys and myself all the best. God bless!

Saturday 18 July 2009

Si tamak

Baiklah, saya mengaku, saya ini, memang tamak. Jikalau orang lain dalam situasi saya, rasanya 98% akan berasa amat gembira dan berterima kasih kepada Tuhan untuk apa yang telah dianugerahkan. Tetapi, saya menggunakan air mata saya tidak henti-henti sebagai balasan kepada-Nya. Hal ini membuatkan saya lebih benci kepada diri sendiri. Mempunyai kesedaran tentang apa yang sepatutnya dibuat kadang kala memberi perasaan pilu.

Pepatah Inggeris yang berbunyi "rumput di sebelah pagar lebih hijau" atau pepatah Bahasa Cina yang berbunyi "bulan di luar negara lebih bulat", manakah yang lebih sesuai menggambarkan pemikiran saya? Entahlah...

Sekarang ini, entah perkataan apa yang paling sesuai untuk merumuskan keadaan saya. Saya seharusnya bersyukur kerana Tuhan bukan sahaja telah mengurniakan saya badan yang sihat, minda yang cergas, tetapi juga peluang untuk merealisasikan impian saya. Mengapakah saya masih berasa murung? Hanya satu penjelasan : saya ini, homosapiens yang tamak.

Saya asyik menyesal tidak mengambil inisiatif untuk pergi ke KL dua tahun yang lalu untuk membuat A-levels. Saya hanya memikirkan kalaulah saya pergi, mesti saya lebih dekat dan kemungkinan besar dapat belajar undang-undang di UK. Saya telah lupa bahawa dua tahun tingkatan enam di Methodistlah yang berjaya membawa saya berdiri di pentas nasional, sesuatu yang saya ingat tidak akan berlaku dalam hidup saya lagi selepas tamat tingkatan 5. Tingkatan 6 jugalah yang memberi saya peluang menjadi EXCO Lembaga Pengawas yang benar-benar melatih saya untuk dunia dewasa. Itu juglah masa saya mula belajar taekwondo yang selama ini tidak pernah dibenarkan oleh emak saya. Saya telah mula berkhidmat sebagai pembantu di gereja, semasa kedua-dua sesi Bahasa Cina dan Bahasa Melayu. Banyak hal yang dipelajari, banyak pengalaman yang ditimba, banyak kawan yang ditemukan. Bukan itu sahaja, saya telah dinamakan Pelajar Mithali 2008, penganugerahan yang langsung tidak disangkakan. Tahun ini, saya telah diberi peluang untuk bekerja sebagai guru sandaran tidak terlatih. Pelajar yang pelbagai ragam terpaksa saya hadapi. Cara berinteraksi dengan guru-guru lain mesti dipelajari agar tidak menyakiti hati sesiapa. Persediaan pengajaran dan kertas ujian dilakukan tanpa banyak bantuan. Semua ini, tanpa saya sedari, dijayakan dengan berkat Tuhan yang Maha-Esa. Saya tidak memberi kredit yang secukupnya kepada Tuhan, sebaliknya merungut tentang apa yang tidak dikecapi. Saya berasa amat teruk sekali.

Emak saya berkata: "Tuhan tidak akan membawa anak-Nya melalui rintangan yang tidak dapat diharungi. Terimalah apa yang dikurniakan dengan hati yang syukur."

Saya bersalah kerana dalam kehidupan seharian, saya telah meletakkan keinginan saya di depan kehendak Tuhan. Saya tidak berterima kasih cukup atas penganuregahan-Nya tetapi hanya bersungut apabila sesuatu hal tidak mengikuti rancangan saya. Saya tidak rela meletakkan kehidupan saya sepenuhnya dalam tangan-Nya kerana khuatir saya tidak diberi apa yang diminta. Saya lupa Dia-lah pencipta dunia, Dia-lah penentu nasib.

Setelah lama berada dalam laut bergelora, rasanya tibalah masa saya untuk berenang balik ke pangkuan-Nya. Saya perlukan masa untuk "membetulkan" pemikiran saya yang bias sedikit (atau sememangnya bias dengan amat banyak?). Saya perlukan keberanian untuk percaya sepenuhnya bahawa rencana Tuhan untuk saya merupakan jalan yang paling baik.


Sebuah lagu untuk dinikmati : Betapa Hatiku

Betapa hatiku Tuhan
Berterima kasih Yesus
Kau mengasihiku Tuhan
Kau memilikku

Hanya ini Tuhan persembahanku
Segenap hidupku, jiwa dan ragaku
S'bab tak kumiliki harta kekayaan
Yang cukup bererti tuk kupersembahkan

Hanya ini Tuhan permohonanku
Terimalah Tuhan persembahanku
Pakailah hidupku sebagai alat-Mu
Seumur hidupku

Wahai kawan, silalah terus berdoa agar saya dapat menghadapi masa depanku yang bisanya pernah dengan liku-liku hidup dengan hati yang tabah. Nescaya dengan kasih sayangmu, saya akan berjaya. Saya juga akan mengingati anda dalam doaku.

Sekian, terima kasih.

shall be revealed

I know I had been a nuisance by moaning these few weeks. I didn't (and still) dare to reveal 100% my thoughts, not even to my parents. The powerlessness, perhaps, is the main reason I feel so depressed (am I?).

If I get cancer and can only live 1 year, or if next year's the end of the world, I'm sure I'll regret not being able to read Law IN UK. As why that country looks so appealing, I don't know. It's just something so fixed into my mind that it has become part of my soul. To forget about it isn't that easy.

Why do I weep? That's such a good question. And to match with it, I have an equally brilliant answer : I don't know. It's just a surge. Maybe because I didn't have a good flow of tears for the past 19 years?

Of course, crying over spilt milk is useless, but I can't help regretting things I had done and not achieved in the past two years.

Let's see, what else? Yeah, we are EXPECTING to make a FIRM decision by next week. Australia seems to be a better choice, although I still have to loan tens of thousands. Mum's quite reluctant now to let me off. Honestly, I still hope that something good will come in this two months.

Growing up can sometimes bring negative thinkings, such as losing the courage to just walk boldly into a foreign place without any doubt. Fear is what that's eating up my soul. I wanted so much to just dash over to UK, willing to work and sacrifice whatever possible. But what after that? If something crop up, I have barely nothing to support me. NOTHING. I can only wait helplessly in the airport to be deported back.

It's a weird thought that I craved so much to study overseas and yet wish to come back to Malaysia. Everyone (almost) wanted to leave this country of unfairness, but I wanted to serve the country. Naive or foolish? You grade it, and keep it.

For the time being, I can only pray for the best. What's the best? I don't know either. Growing older doesn't neccessarily means growing wiser. I feel like growing stupid-er in a way. Or is it because I have to much time to think? *growing mushrooms at home =.=* I'm learning very hard to leave things in God's hand and to obey His wishes, that are normally contradictory to mine. *sigh*

Looking forward to attending the steamboat with a happy soul and a healthy body.

Night~

Friday 17 July 2009

我很累

真的是一波三折……我的耐性快没了,我的乐观被消磨殆尽了,我真的累了……总是在做决定的那一刻出现新的问题或人物,硬生生地打乱我的计划。这是第几次,我已经算不清了……我知道生活不是一帆风顺,可是也不必这么地坎坷吧?好啦,没有很辛苦,但是,我才20岁诶!我不是允浩,我不是隋棠,我不是明星,我没有义务在大众面前永远保持微笑。(允浩说:我是明星,我负责把欢笑带给大家,所以我不在众人面前表现悲伤/哭)

很多时候,我怀疑,到底什么才是我真正的目的?我是为我自己、为上帝、为父母还是单单为面子而拼一生?辛苦是我自找的吗?唉……

我想坚强,我想乐观,我想勇敢,可是……我很累……就快负荷不了心理上的压力,续而让身体也垮了……青青色的鼻涕不是浓浓的必须用力哼才出来,而是起床头离开枕头就会自动、没完没了地从鼻子流出来……这辈子没印象病得这么离谱过……

今天的转机是上帝听到大家为我的祷告而为我重新开启的一扇门吗?为什么我第n次决定去英国了,还是有人冒出来,把我带上分叉路口?

选择,
一辈子的选择,
前途的选择,
金钱的选择,
顺服的选择,
我的选择?

英国真的那么好吗?澳洲真的适合我吗?还是,我的心,根本就留恋马来西亚?

我的魂,
我的灵,
呼喊着:
主啊,求袮引领我!

Wednesday 15 July 2009

好想大声喊说:“我决定了!”可是还是不能所以很郁闷

今天仍然犹豫不决,看来不只我的pride will kill me someday,我不知何时开始培养的优柔寡断也会把我害惨……

早上仍然抱着无限希望拨电话给大安,小姐们的回复让我更有信心有希望,可是下午跟HR 经理的对话让我直接掉进谷底……

又哭了……真的自己都看不起自己去……

我最近又开始高密度祷告咯~ 希望上帝怜悯我吧……就当同情我吧……就当受到感动吧……灯啊灯,你在哪儿?路啊路,你又在哪儿?

今晚认命地上网找澳洲accounting的资料时,忽然被ANU吸引……这是第一间让我觉得很舒服的大学……简称我不排斥……因为啊,我真的没有想过会计这个行业,所以之前找资料只是为了应付父母……可是,ANU却给我很亲切的感觉……它的网页设计没有华丽夺目,也没有很高科技的东东,就是走简约风格……可是就很对我的胃口……哈哈……

刚才跟元杰聊聊,发现……他有种特质,像我的五姨一样,会让人觉得世界和未来是充满希望的!

话说,我的老朋友们,不好意思啊,我最近心情起伏不定,所以聚会就不去了……不过火锅餐,我一定会去的……

嗯,最近有很喜欢韩国一下(很大程度是因为允浩)……甚至开始学基本韩语……不过,有间事情我必须说:
我坚决不同意吃狗肉!
有封e-mail传很久了,我以为事情已经解决了,可是,看来是还没有啊……本来吃狗肉在韩国是犯法的,可是据说因为政府无法有效制止,结果竟然把它合法化!什么东东?!看到那些狗狗临死的照片,真的会哭我跟你说……

我们家的狗狗其实也是原本被卖给人吃掉了,刚好给我妈救回来……每次它跟我撒娇时,我就更加确定,有生之年,一定要为动物的福利尽一份力!世上有很多组织在为这些动物宝贵的生命奋斗,请您支持吧!

Monday 13 July 2009

阿Q精神

为了一个素未谋面,甚至仅仅在MSN很短暂地聊天(还是为了庆惠的电话号码;Esther,恭喜!你也上我的新部落格了!哈哈……)的朋友,我决定跟大家分享我们家(族),嗯,外加朋友团的阿Q精神……(小妹ah kueh【我决定跟他们一样称呼你】,如果你有更阿Q的,能打败我,请多多赐教)(亲亲表妹,你也是啊,不要以为你跑得掉噢~)

1)全班这么多人,总得要有人考最后一名吧?不用一定考第一名啦!有及格就很好了,至少不用重考啊……是不是?你都不知道重考有多么麻烦……
【这个在之前的《只有功课的童年?》中有提过 http://barbaraxuanyige.blogspot.com/2009/06/blog-post_07.html

2)哎哟,你管人家说你什么……你不懂吗?人其实笨一点没有不好哦……因为啊,太聪明的人每天都有烦恼,笨一点就没有烦恼,就比较长命啊!你看那些天才是不是都英年早逝?所以啊,人家说你笨,不用生气,人家在祝福你长命叻!

3)Aiks, you forgot the story of the peanuts again? If anyone scold you nuts, you don't need to be angry. Because only the bigger nut can see the smaller one, isn't it? So, in conclusion, whoever that scolds you nut is a bigger nut.

4)人家嫉妒你是因为你有值得被嫉妒的地方啊!那就是你有比他们厉害的地方嘛……

5) The biggest & most hurtful lie you heard?
don't know... everything i know... i let myself forgot... no need remember that rubbish...

ps: then why do you still think of it?
but some rubbish will recycle de ... always in your heart
(if you can avoid doing this, congrats! you'd freed yourself!)


目前我只想得到这几个诶……不好意思……我今天自己心情也没有很好……大家若有新点子,不要吝啬了!赶快跟帖!哈哈……

to AW: you may read this and feel better.
http://clazy-bnw-234.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!4938C4F14242080!312.entry

this person's blog normally make me laugh till tears, hope she won't kill me. This is one of it...
http://yinmood.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!59AB8F86A0692D34!1279.entry

梦碎

抱着无限的希望拨电话给yayasan sarawak,,换回一个破碎的梦。为什么我读法律就得遇上这么多波折?成绩比我差的人比比皆是,为什么他们的道路如此平坦?3年小小的愿望,为什么就如此难实现?是我太挑剔,还是这条路原本就不属于我?我没有轻视别的行业,我只是爱上法律,难道错了?

再怎么乐观,我还是忍不住哭了……这3个星期流的眼泪,比过去19年的总数还多……我不甘心,不甘心就这么放弃……所以我才会边流泪,边继续寻找钱的来源。

各位,如果您知道哪儿有奖学金/贷学金,麻烦留言通知我,我想试试看……也许,上帝会被我感动的……拜托~ 感谢不尽……

特别感谢这段日子以来,不停鼓励我、协助我、为我代祷的朋友……没有翅膀的天使,名叫朋友!

ku di tangan-Mu,
ku di hati-Mu,
di fikiran-Mu,
di rencana-Mu,
tak pernah ditinggalkan.

Saturday 11 July 2009

pray hard for a dream come true

I decided to change the whole passage since something cropped up. I HATE THIS. Money is not the root of evil, but it certainly is the root to my suffer now. I miscalculated something which will really cost my whole future.

What should I do? Why does God closes every door to L? I'm really hair-wired. Shall I walk this courageously, or should I opt an easier but definately not my first love road? I'm extremely tired. My tears were flowing like crazy, and in the end, there's NOTHING. I don't want to lose, not at all. Someday, this pride of mine will kill me.

I gave up so much, yet the road's worse than before. Who can help me now?

God, you know how much I suffered because of this. But you still pave this road rocky. What do you really want me to choose? Please send me a message, a CLEAR message. Please send me another angel if you support my dream.

Friends, please pray for me so that something good will happen on Monday, the key which leads me to the door of dream-come-true.

I'll continue to pray very hard, until my wish is fulfilled, no matter how difficult it is. Lord, your daughter here is ready for all challenges. Just take my hand and lead my first step.

Thursday 9 July 2009

好玩

刚才为了查MJ的生辰,找到了一个挺不错的网站http://www.nongli.com/,发现,他竟是农历七月十五出生,被我妈说中诶~

后来啊,我们两个就很无聊地开始运用网站提供的算命服务,会有忽然对自己的命很意外的感觉……我觉得偶尔看看这种命理的东西,可以给自己惊喜,挺好的……推荐你们去算一算自己的命哦……信不信由你,可以当作参考,提醒自己该注意什么……

很爆笑的梦

话说,我梦到很不可思议的事情……那就是……我结婚了!哈哈……给自己吓到莫……难道我就真的这么恨嫁吗?噢不!!!!!!!!!!一定是最近太多人结婚的后遗症……(硬是要找替死鬼)


梦的一开始很模糊……等到画面比较清楚时,我是莫名其妙在卫理小学blok B最高一楼的课室里(好像是3E班),而且还是一个人……对着外面的天空发呆,就像以前我参加校内比赛时,回答完题目后常常为了等时间流逝而做的事……不知道为什么,天灰灰的……突然我妈从楼下叫我,我就收拾好书包(真的是书包!还是陪我到处流浪,呃,不是啦,陪我上课、比赛、面试、露营的灰色书包)往楼下走去……梦唯一的好处就是,我的体力变很好,走5楼也没有问题……哈哈……结果,等待我的不是轿车,而是……van?! 不管了,人家都催我上车,我就上咯……打开门一看,哇哩叻,里面还有三对新人叻……等等!为什么他们都是成双成对,只有我独自一人背书包爬van?在一阵不解当中上车……放bag的时候,总觉得画面好熟悉,像我去槟城的样子……忽然看到了我的“新郎”……呃……这是谁啊?!根本不认识叻……有一点圆,像纳豆(故事教导我们,不可以在睡前看太多youtube,像我这样,就是去查他们恶搞super junior的《sorry, sorry》看到纳豆)不过有比较高一点……而且,诡异的是,他看到我也是很惊讶……难道,他是很无辜,不小心掉进我梦里的?不好意思啊……



一路上,我看到别对都手挽手地,好不亲昵……我也去挽那个陌生人的手臂……发现……我们根本不来电!什么东西!!!吐血……好痛苦地撑到了所谓的婚宴场所,就被安排去化妆还是什么的……(亲们,别敲我头啊……我真的不懂这是什么乱七八糟的梦)要走很窄很窄的楼梯(有点像某公会的)结果我跟其中一个新娘竟然错过楼梯(不懂为什么忽然出现6个楼梯口),一直转圈(是俗称的鬼遮眼还是鬼打墙吗?

后来到了3楼,看到我爸在里面敬酒了,我忽然对妈咪说:
“妈,不然我先订婚好不好?”
“吓!为什么?”
“因为我现在还很年轻啊!说不定我上大学时遇到更好的人,如果只是订婚,我还可以解除婚约啊!如果现在就结婚了,那时还要离婚,不是很麻烦,又影响我的行情”
“你在胡说什么啊?!不准!给我去结婚!”
我知道你们现在看到吐血了……我真的不懂这些怪台词哪来的……

后来,我就放弃挣扎,决定接受命运的可笑安排……
突然我爆出这么一句话:“不知道来得及上厕所吗?”
妈咪:“来得及啦……赶快!”
这段剧情告诉我们,梦里也会紧张想上厕所的时候XD
结果我冲进厕所,忽然某个老妇人开门问:“需要我帮你拉裙角吗?”很慈祥的脸,不过就是有恐怖片的味道……在犹豫之间,忽然听到司仪宣布:“让我们欢迎……陈家与伍家……”
诶?那是我吗?

伍家?一定是因为我昨晚去看偽基百科看到五家(好像是anti-5566的东西)……还听到什么Alex……lol……

终于,我受不了这么荒唐的梦,醒了!后来回头想想,真的是太爆笑了,上来晒晒,跟大家分享,就当笑话一则,今天会很开心……呵呵……虽然我不是死忠的外貌协会成员,可是……梦里的那个人跟允浩也差太多了吧?

刚才去看了庭羽的部落格,发现,数理又倒回去用母语(小学)和国语(中学)。对于前一项,我是无任欢迎,因为我明白,小朋友要用自己最熟悉的语言读书,东西才会牢牢呆在脑袋瓜儿里……后面那项嘛,我个人不太希望学弟学妹跟我一样承受转换语言的痛苦,若直接用英语,相信他们到pre-u以上的时侯会比较好过……但是,有件事情我忽然想到,几开心的:
各位学弟学妹,学姐我这里什么种类的书都有……不论你们要有密密麻麻notes的,还是全新的;不论你们要pelangi的,还是sasbadi的,我都有。欢迎你们随时跟我联络买便宜的书籍哦~

在MSN碰到Allen,虽然很意外他最后的决定,可是,我还是很替他开心。能够逐梦的人,很幸福!加油,朋友!我们一家人都很支持,也很替你开心哦!
ps: I think you can show them your STPM results and get some exemption in form of course duration. In addition, I think you can get higher salary once you graduate. You can ask the teachers in school tomorrow.

Monday 6 July 2009

又是婚宴



最近好像日子很好厚?接二连三收到红色炸弹……星期六的我选择缺席,星期日的则是因为妈咪说去我才去的。为了注重人家的肖像权,我就没拍新郎新娘啦……我妈很惊讶现在诗巫的wedding planner这么厉害了……布置挺美的,司仪还两个叻……歌手超多的……

不过……我们的位置坐错,尤其是我,在音响的正下前方,用physics原理来算,我的地方就是constuctive inteference的地方……痛苦啊我…… 然后他们的选歌也很让人=.=一下……"baby, come and loosen my buttons yeah……" "frozen"让气氛冷很多去……不是全部的长辈能忍受这种歌曲拌饭吧? “如果说你要离开我……”有让大家high起来啦……不过……张震岳的歌词……有点太新潮……《戏凤》的梗好像十年都没变诶……亏那些阿麽阿姨还能syok sendiri……《日不落》节奏太快,唱的人跟不上,我们也听得很累啊……所有的歌呢,要么不是很适合,要么就我们听到很辛苦(虽然他们的功力深厚,可是我们的耳朵被音响折磨整晚后,好歌都感动不了啊)

然后那天晚上很多女生的服装(也有几个不认老的伯伯)啊,让我们那桌的老师(就是我爸某个朋友的老婆)频频皱眉头……我妈也是受不了……因此每当我往右边一瞄,总是看到两个妇女非常不认同的表情……【好啦,满足一下大家的好奇心,就是低胸、露背、超级迷你裙『像潘玮柏的朋友jason说的:把腰带当裙子穿』、没有胸罩=.=、透明、半透明】后来啊,我们前面那桌和隔壁那桌的妇女(听说是情妇团?)开始high啦……一直喊叫……=.=……怎么又是我爸的朋友?!丢脸叻……40岁应该要有40岁的样子吧?就算要疯,也得顾虑一下自己的形象如何会影响在座的年轻人吧? 唉……世风日下啊……(没有用错成语厚?)

然后家属敬酒时,台上喊最大声的就是新郎的老爸了……也就是我老爸的朋友啦……真正的酒友=.=……司仪嘛足怪一下……一直说:“够了啦够了啦,喊那么长做什么?胜!”然后就打断大家,自顾自地干了……后来,新郎的爸爸、妈妈、、姐姐(我今天才懂是大姐,不是怪怪的伴娘……哈哈)、妹妹都拿啤酒一桌一桌干杯……连续三、四杯,我们看的是很担心啊……新郎的爸爸到我们那桌时早就醉了……还在饮……=.=……

后来我爸的另一个朋友的20岁女儿(跟我同年哦)来要跟我爸干……我不希望老爸喝到5罐去,所以出手阻止,还好那个女生挺识相的,真的不敢倒,可是老爸不忍看她没面子,就批准她倒一点点……其他朋友就笑说:“哟~女儿管爸爸啊?”我就微笑着点头,看看谁敢给我再讲什么……若难听的话敢骂出来,我也不会客气……我爸也不敢骂我,因为他知道我若发火,绝不好玩……回到家仔细想想,原来帅气的阻挡pose和微笑是有威的……哈哈哈……看来临教三个月的磨练没有白费啊~哈哈……

原本想说若老爸喝个三五罐,我还是让他驾车(因为高跟鞋很难驾manual的车),可是由于我们太慢出来,旁边后面的车都驾走了,我决定换鞋驾……人说“驾车不喝酒,喝酒不驾车”嘛……我有很乖的……虽然老爸不至于醉了(酒量太好有时也是麻烦,劝这种人很上火,还的顾虑他们会不会忽然翻脸),可是如果那时被警察叔叔抓去酒测,铁定不过的啦……

现在发现,会驾车真的是件好事,虽然,被人载比较幸福啦……(仅仅限于会认路的司机,碰上路痴,自己会吐血 【对啦,仙,就是讲你了……哈哈……】;那些认路很厉害的人,或驾很久了的,就驾得很危险,自己口吐白沫【大哥,我绝对没有说是你……哈哈……】)

还有啊,以后我找的老公可以会喝酒,但是要会控制自己……我不想为他担心~

好了,终于写完原本该在星期日晚上upload的blog了……呵呵……最近会依然很忙……然后,要赶着把灵感凑成文章……还有很多很多仿佛做不完的tasks……给自己加油,也给愿意赏脸看完本篇文章的你打气~

生活里凡事谢恩,日子会很开心顺遂哦~ ^^

Saturday 4 July 2009

a short short one

陈玉珊,加油!

Life's short, live it to the fullest and leave no regrets!

Thursday 2 July 2009

Just a sharing~

I'm still quite confused as on which road shall I embark, so I'll just post this up. It's a sharing, and hope it gives you a new thought on this matter.

Why go to Church? (Interesting)

If you're spiritually alive, you're going to love this! If you're spiritually dead, you won't want to read it. If you're spiritually curious, there is still hope!

A Church goer wrote a letter to the editor of a newspaper and complained that it made no sense to go to church every Sunday..
"I've gone for 30 years now," he wrote, "and in that time I have heard something like 3,000 sermons. But for the life of me, I can't remember a single one of them. So, I think I'm wasting my time and the pastors are wasting theirs by giving sermons at all."

This started a real controversy in the "Letters to the Editor" column, much to the delight of the editor.
It went on for weeks until someone wrote this clincher:

"I've been married for 30 years now. In that time my wife has cooked some 32,000 meals. But, for the life of me, I cannot recall the entire menu for a single one of those meals.. But I do know this ... They all nourished me and gave me the strength I needed to do my work. If my wife had not given me these meals, I would be physically dead today. Likewise, if I had not gone to church for nourishment, I would be spiritually dead today!"

When you are DOWN to nothing.... God is UP to something!
Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible and receives the impossible!
Thank God for our physical AND our spiritual nourishment!

Okay, this is an extra below the forwarded e-mail, which I think is pretty nice.
I think everyone should read this! "
When Satan is knocking at your door, simply say, "Jesus, could you get that for me?"

To my friends, if you have time, please put me in your prayers. I don't request for a large space (although I'm not slim XD), I just hope that if more people pray for me, then I'll be tougher and stronger, physically and mentally to march on. Honestly speaking, I had never been this weak. It's not that I don't believe God, it's that I'm afraid. The sense of not knowing what's going to happen in the future and how smooth or rough it's going to be really scares me. People often says, think of the worst scenario, and tell yourself nothing's going to be worst than that. But then, I suddenly become unsure what's that "WORST SCENARIO". I lost all my confidence over the weeks. Mental turmoil, that is. I practically hypnosies myself by thinking of all kinds of impossible things to make myself better. I got my eyes glued to computer and tv screens just to temporarily escape reality. I don't dare to touch my bible. I'm helpless (not hopeless yet, I'm sure). I prayed so hard, harder than anytime in my life (ok, that's 20 years till now), even harder than when I'm in National Service, and yet still feel unsafe. The uncertainty of everything leads me to nothing but tears. After crying and typing, I still feel as if there's a heavy stone in my chest. Unable to breathe~ Unable to think~

God, help me... Help this lil' child of yours.. Please...

Wednesday 1 July 2009

我还是举棋不定……慌、怕、茫、哭、无助、无力、乱、呆……总之乱七八糟的念头都闪过我的脑海,但是快得让我来不及捉住……我忽然不懂潇洒怎么写……

上帝啊,
求袮怜悯我,
求你让我圆梦,
求袮引领我,
求你让我不再彷徨……

我真的很怕……心里没底的感觉很恐怖很可怕……仿佛深不见底的深渊,摔下去,是粉身碎骨还是瞬间消失?未知的未来,不可预见的未来,都让我突然害怕……

我找不到袮的那明灯,
我看不到袮慈祥的脸,
我摸不到袮温暖的手,
我听不到你安慰的声,

我只感觉到自己冷冷的泪水,

一颗软弱的心……

主啊,告诉我,我该怎么做,才能顺利度过这关考验呢?我知道,袮不会设下我无法跨越的鸿沟,原谅我的懦弱……

What time is it now? 童鞋,记住:一寸光阴一寸金~

Canberra

Sibu