真的是一波三折……我的耐性快没了，我的乐观被消磨殆尽了，我真的累了……总是在做决定的那一刻出现新的问题或人物，硬生生地打乱我的计划。这是第几次，我已经算不清了……我知道生活不是一帆风顺，可是也不必这么地坎坷吧？好啦，没有很辛苦，但是，我才20岁诶！我不是允浩，我不是隋棠，我不是明星，我没有义务在大众面前永远保持微笑。（允浩说：我是明星，我负责把欢笑带给大家，所以我不在众人面前表现悲伤/哭）
很多时候，我怀疑，到底什么才是我真正的目的？我是为我自己、为上帝、为父母还是单单为面子而拼一生？辛苦是我自找的吗？唉……
我想坚强，我想乐观，我想勇敢，可是……我很累……就快负荷不了心理上的压力，续而让身体也垮了……青青色的鼻涕不是浓浓的必须用力哼才出来，而是起床头离开枕头就会自动、没完没了地从鼻子流出来……这辈子没印象病得这么离谱过……
今天的转机是上帝听到大家为我的祷告而为我重新开启的一扇门吗？为什么我第n次决定去英国了，还是有人冒出来，把我带上分叉路口？
选择，
一辈子的选择，
前途的选择，
金钱的选择，
顺服的选择，
我的选择？
英国真的那么好吗？澳洲真的适合我吗？还是，我的心，根本就留恋马来西亚？
我的魂，
我的灵，
呼喊着：
主啊，求袮引领我！
First, just chill will you. Ask yourself what you really want to do. Do you want to go to England more or do you want to do law or whatever choices. If that doesn't work, try finding a second option. Twinning programme in Malaysia or something. Law in Taylors or Monash. I know how you feel, I hate making decisions myself. But I am thinking you are scared to make one cause it might either jeopardise your happiness or worst still your future. This is what I think. Just make a choice, then find ways to fix all the problems that come with the choice. If you really want to go to England, just go and then work while you study. You might have to sacrifice a lot though but if you really want to go then I guess a bit sacrifice doesn't matter. Or if you really want to be a lawyer more than going to England, stay in Malaysia, get a degree become a lawyer. After you start working, then you can go back to university again. Or you can take a gap year off, go somewhere and work and you don't have to decide what course you want to do for another year. Remember, there is no age limit for uni and you can go anytime even when you are 50. Rambling on and on about how difficult the choice is ain't gonna make it any easier. Just weigh all your options and decide. For all you know, a meteor might strike the earth tomorrow and this problem of your is just a insignificant as a dying ant. So yeah, that's my though.
ReplyDeletePS. I hate DBSK. I will tell you next time why. My reasons are as long as the stuff above.
is this deb? i'm sure wif tat nick, altho i did c it b4. bt then only deb will leave long comments for me.
ReplyDeleteif 2moro's d end of d world, i shall regret for nt being able to do law AND to go 2 UK.
*sigh* i'm greedy.
blog tat DBSK thing. cos i noe it's going to b real long :P